Hey Em - well done on opening all of this back up - and there's a much greater sense of travel and dynamism implied by this animatic and the way the camera travels and orbits around the various miniatures. One basic bit of feedback concerns your actual voice-over. There's an irony I know in asking a 'shy person' who is making a film about their shyness to give more colour, character and naturalism to their own vocal performance, but it's so important that the voice-over is engaging and warm and interesting and varied and right now, it does sound very 'early days' in terms of you relaxing into this role more and getting more performance into this key aspect of the audience's experience of your film. I think you need to learn your script so well, that you can just go into the sound studio and just speak it/act it. If you don't invest time, energy and courage into this aspect of your film, it's going to struggle to engage audiences at this most basic level.
I suppose I have a difficulty with the 'Santa-meets-cobweb' moment: in your other scenes the separation between what we're hearing and what we're seeing is nice, but in this one instance I just can't put the imagery together and I think it's because of the 'Christmas-ness' of what we're being told versus the more macabre image we're being shown. My advice is to look again at this section - so seek to generalise the anecdote (take out the Christmas factor) and talk more generally about that feeling of being trapped. Does that make sense?
Hey Em - well done on opening all of this back up - and there's a much greater sense of travel and dynamism implied by this animatic and the way the camera travels and orbits around the various miniatures. One basic bit of feedback concerns your actual voice-over. There's an irony I know in asking a 'shy person' who is making a film about their shyness to give more colour, character and naturalism to their own vocal performance, but it's so important that the voice-over is engaging and warm and interesting and varied and right now, it does sound very 'early days' in terms of you relaxing into this role more and getting more performance into this key aspect of the audience's experience of your film. I think you need to learn your script so well, that you can just go into the sound studio and just speak it/act it. If you don't invest time, energy and courage into this aspect of your film, it's going to struggle to engage audiences at this most basic level.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I have a difficulty with the 'Santa-meets-cobweb' moment: in your other scenes the separation between what we're hearing and what we're seeing is nice, but in this one instance I just can't put the imagery together and I think it's because of the 'Christmas-ness' of what we're being told versus the more macabre image we're being shown. My advice is to look again at this section - so seek to generalise the anecdote (take out the Christmas factor) and talk more generally about that feeling of being trapped. Does that make sense?