I think you have done a good job of translating a challenging style and your design bible demonstrates your research and development on this project. You final designs are clear and show a good grasp of three-dimensional design and it is good to see some subtle development on your central character regarding the turnaround. However I still feel both characters need a little more personality to reinforce the narrative. The squire needs to feel weaker, and you could achieve this with larger and more clumsy props, battered or dented armour, dishevelled tabard etc. In contrast, your knight could be more dramatic and heroic, with squarer shapes, larger more heroic items etc. The gesture sheets should could also reflect those difference, so perhaps similar poses for both (fighting, defending etc) could highlight those differences.
Your environments do feel a little undeveloped and sparse. It would be good to see some more detail in the foreground, and some more atmospheric elements to aid in the narrative, such as piles of bodies, shadows from the unseen threat, framed by the edge of a dark woodland etc. These elements would be also good to reinforce the stainless style. Your storyboards also need more development. They feel static and unemotional and the narrative is unclear.
Overall then, although you design bible have great potential, I feel it is not yet fully realised. I think your characters need some tweaking so that their roles are clearly defined, and the storyboards and environments need more development in order to drive the narrative. - Justin
Emily Friswell -
ReplyDeleteI think you have done a good job of translating a challenging style and your design bible demonstrates your research and development on this project. You final designs are clear and show a good grasp of three-dimensional design and it is good to see some subtle development on your central character regarding the turnaround. However I still feel both characters need a little more personality to reinforce the narrative. The squire needs to feel weaker, and you could achieve this with larger and more clumsy props, battered or dented armour, dishevelled tabard etc. In contrast, your knight could be more dramatic and heroic, with squarer shapes, larger more heroic items etc. The gesture sheets should could also reflect those difference, so perhaps similar poses for both (fighting, defending etc) could highlight those differences.
Your environments do feel a little undeveloped and sparse. It would be good to see some more detail in the foreground, and some more atmospheric elements to aid in the narrative, such as piles of bodies, shadows from the unseen threat, framed by the edge of a dark woodland etc. These elements would be also good to reinforce the stainless style. Your storyboards also need more development. They feel static and unemotional and the narrative is unclear.
Overall then, although you design bible have great potential, I feel it is not yet fully realised. I think your characters need some tweaking so that their roles are clearly defined, and the storyboards and environments need more development in order to drive the narrative. - Justin